Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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