in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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