Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
