So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you didnt know i had herpes?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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