Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
