I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
