he told me I talked like a deaf person
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
