I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
