You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
