Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize