I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
