Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
