i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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