What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
