Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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