when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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