Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
