Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
