whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just tell him i said nine months
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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