I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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