Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
