Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
