Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We are two peas in an std pod
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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