At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
