I got chris browned last night
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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