wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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