The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
