We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
