i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
