I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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