a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
