Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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