Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
