i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
