the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
