I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my being single is dangerous.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She even gives head with a lisp.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
