DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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