Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
