i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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