i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
They are going to name an STD after you.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
