my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
