Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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