i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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