so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
