East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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