You just made me feel so damn special
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Congratulations! We have a period
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