Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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