I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
3 2 1 whiskey
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
