So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
