The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
