Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
zippers are such a cool invention
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
A bitchslap is in order.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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