OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Randomize
