I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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