Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
