So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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