Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
