Pappa wants mamma naked
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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