is your mom at the bar?
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm passing your future prison.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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