TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize