stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
