haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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