and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
