oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My cat gives me a boner
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize