Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
